Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
