twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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