My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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