Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
