TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
