it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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