Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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