I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
