mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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