are you still at the devil's house?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
