I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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