In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
