She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
