i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
