I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Send help, water and tortillas.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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