I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
