wakey wakey hands off snakey
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
