I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
