she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
