i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
