..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
