Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
