i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Two words: blizzard sex
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
