We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
