Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
