she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my shit smells like andre
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
