the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
