Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
