I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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