I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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