Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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