I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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