I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
