I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
