My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
