do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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