"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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