Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
