i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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