just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
