My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
