I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
