how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
