last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
