Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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