I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
