The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
