My friends, they love my intelligence
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
