Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
