are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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